Redemption requires forgiveness and above all love

It matters not when redemption comes, what matters is that it comes.

When I was 11-years-old I took the blow meant for my mother. I stood up to my father. He left the next day. I couldn't change him. But, I would defend my mother no matter what the cost.

I wish children did not have to make these kinds of choices. I grew up to be the exact opposite of my father. Alcohol addiction and self-hate robbed his humanity. I was with him when the day he died. Some moments make us, others break us.

My mother asked him to see the priest. I was upset with her, cause I had come to hate this man I called my father. I was angry with her for caring about him after 15 years of going missing in action. Not a card, a phone call, not anything. I had 15 years of hate eating away at me, and I did not want to let that hate go.

I remember her saying Rev. Fitzgerald, did you see my husband yet? He said Mrs. Turner I have been with him three times today. It's an uneasy peace, and redemption for some comes late. Trust me, he has met his devils, confess his sins, made his peace, and his redemption is real.

My mother looked at me and said son promise me you won't wait until the end to make peace with yourself. She saw the hate in me. She knew it was too heavy a burden for me to carry. Then she ran after the priest. She said Father, can you talk with my son for a while. He said sure what is a good time Jess? She said right now is a good time.  I was angrier than ever. I felt like screaming. But, I could never say no to my mother. The last thing I wanted was to talk about my father.

Father Fritz said Jesse, come into the chapel with me. In that chapel, I met my devils, confess my sins, laid out that hate held far too long, and made my peace, and am stilling working on this redemption thing. Faith and love took that heavy burden off me. I left that chapel different that day.

After I left, I took the elevator up to his hospital room, and held his hand, kiss his forehead, and said the words I had wanted to say for 15 years. I love you, dad. We both began crying. I never said I forgive you because it did not need saying. Forgiveness rode that wave of father and son tears. Later that night he passed, and I held his hand. Love wins people.I have spent my life stepping up. It's not what I want, it's what I have to do. It is who I am, but I am also a loving son, a loving brother, a loving husband, a loving father, and a loving teacher. Redemption never comes easy, but it can't come without love.

Love wins,
Jesse The Walking Man Turner 

If you like to listen to the song that inspired my walk this morning...its  Martin Hurkens - "You Raise me Up" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RojlDwD07I

The Elephant In The SEL Room

The Elephant In The SEL Room.

The terms Social Emotional Learning is a hot topic in schools today. I am glad we are paying attention to this. We are told that children and their teachers need to focus on the Whole Child, find time to take care of each other and themselves emotionally. The work being shared is rich in best practices. This is a real need. This is all good. 

BUT, But, and but again people, we should be honest that there is no bigger impediment to the Social Emotional Well Being of our nation's children and their teachers then the constant use of High-Stakes Testing in our public schools.

Our nation's policymakers, legislators, and education reformers think assessing children requires standardized testing. It is easy for people who have little or no experience working with children to view high stakes testing as a way to measure learning. They lack the experiences of sitting with children, learning and growing with them on a daily basis.  Teachers see the child not the score. 

The Latin root of "assess" is “to sit beside.” Not do something to someone. It means both teacher and children learn from each other, they learn together. Teachers get this. They understand everything they need to do comes from sitting besides the children they teach. The data that matters to teachers isn't found on some data wall, it isn't found by logging into some expensive online data gathering system. The data that matters is found in real classrooms sitting next to children we teach. Everything needed to move a child forward is found sitting together. Teachers don't need to go online, or wait for the data to come in. Everything they need is sitting right next to them. In that "sitting beside place". Where it's not about some strategic learning objective, but about caring to follow the child not the score. That place where teachers learn to differentiate their instruction not based on test scores, but directly from the child.  The data that matters isn't found on some magic Bell Curves. it breathes, feels, and sits next to us in our classrooms.  If we really care about the well-being of our children in public schools, we would end this love affair with High-Stakes Testing. start paying attention to child sitting in our classrooms. They are the living breathing data that no testing company ever talks to. It's time to kick the Elephant out of the room.

I walked from Connecticut to Washington DC in 2010 and 2105 to protest High-Stakes Testing and inequity in our public schools. What did I discover about standardized testing in our public schools on those walks? I discovered it was demoralizing teachers and destroying the desire to learn in their students. Those 400 plus mile walks took 40 days to complete each time. I met over a thousand teachers and parents on those walks. All the teachers I met shared that constant testing was destroying the motivation to teach. Destroying the desire to learn in the students they taught. They said they spent 8-12 weeks of the school year preparing for, practicing for, and giving mandated testing. Parents told me the testing is making their children hate going to school. Not one teacher, not one parent, not one student expressed anything positive about the testing in their schools during walks.

What else did I learn about our nation's love affair with High-Stakes Testing? It is stealing 2-3 months of valuable learning time.  It is costing our nation BILLIONS of dollars.  There is no evidence that more standardized testing ever improved learning in our public schools. The Literature does contain numerous studies documenting an over emphasis on standardized testing increases the number of students labeled special education, students with behavior problems, and anxiety concerns.

18 years after NCLB turned our children into test scores, it should not come a surprise that Social Emotional Learning is emerging as a hot topic. America spent over 1.2 billion dollars on NCLB and RTTT. The real surprise is that after 19 years of testing reform failures our leaders can't see the Elephant in the room. Trust me on this one thing, teachers, children, and parents see that Elephant. 

I say if educators and parents are really concerned about Social Emotional Learning then we should demand that testing money go to supporting and bringing SEL into our schools. Once the testing is gone we will get back the time and funding needed to truly support SEL in our public schools.  Time to kick the Elephant out of the room.

Respectfully,
Dr. Jesse P. Turner 
CCSU Literacy Center Director

Parents and teachers together can't be defeated

If you want to listen to the song that inspired my morning walk today its Crosby, Stills, and Nash singing Teach the children. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztVaqZajq-I

See The Gifts

See the gifts.
I was talking to one of the teachers I work with this week. She told me about a young child who has a para all day long, and suffers from dangerous brain seizures, and the staff was told he is not expected to live for more than a few more years. He has had many surgeries, and has the scars to show it on his head.

She said he wants so much to interact with the other children, and they like interacting with him. But, we were told do not stress him. He sometimes appears so fragile, and others times he doesn't. He is not able to move about without the assistance of his Para. At first we were afraid, and then we came to know him, his laughter, his smile, and he melted our hearts. The other day, he was playing catch with the other kids, everyone was having fun, and he was laughing away. The Para and I were worried, but everyone was smiling, laughing, and enjoying themselves. The Para and I thought let it be.

She asked Dr. Turner, what would you have done? Physical activity might trigger a seizure. I said "Celebrate the wonder a child who gifted his teacher, Para, and classmates with a perfect moment of humanity" and I just might have join in the game. I certainly would have awarded him one of my Plastic Gold medals, bow down to him, and said there has never ever been a better catcher than you.

Play is not stressing, laughter is not stressing, joy is not stressing, and you and your Para did exactly what I would have done. She said he often has seizures during the week when this happens, the children and I leave the classroom, the Para stays, and the nurse comes. My students worry about this child, sincerely care about the child, and always treat him with dignity and respect. On the catch day he suffered no seizures, but we every one of us felt his joy and love. She said those are the days I live for. Trust that those are the days this child lives for.

A dear old friend an Elder Danny Lopez from the Tohono O'odham Nation who past away some years ago.... once told me: "Jesse the creator sends us children we sometimes think are broken, but we are mistaken. They are not broken, they are beautiful strategic gifts the Creator places to in our lives to prove our humanity. It's not the gifts that are broken, it's us, and they have come to help heal us."

See the gifts,
Dr. Jesse P. Turner

In case you are wondering what song inspired my morning walk today...it's Natalie Merchants Wonder https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v611MlWMtL8&t=112s